Today I am undone. A far away feeling has overcome me, and further detached me from my already antisocial perch at my computer screen. The blue glow does not warm me. I am without consolation. I am ill from love's rich feast. I returned home tonight to emptiness. Things were taken from their previous resting place in my life, and other things remained mistakenly, serving as reminders that stung anew after already enduring the first bite of emptiness. My words go unanswered as she avoids me. Gone is my love, but what has returned is my full attention to my crippled heart. No more will my feelings be pushed aside with excuses. I have rescued myself, but the cure is no holiday. Loneliness, defeat, and pathos have begun to curl their venomous tentacles around my limbs and torso, dragging me into the oceanic depths of my grief and self-flagellation. All must not be lost. I will surely allow myself to explore this pain, but I will not cede my progress in other personal battles. I'll not let myself down with self-indulgent wallowing. I'll not sink too deeply into the mire. If I learned anything in previous heartbreaks, it is that love can only kill you if you allow it.
So much sadness. I agree. I wish I could undo it. I want my heart in one piece and to be yours again.
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