Poly don’t live here anymore

I probably need to write a book about the poly couples who structure their boundaries so that their partners can never fully bond with another (ahem, to keep them from leaving). In my mind this is not really polyamory, it is polyamory with training wheels. I understand that deep down we are all afraid of being left behind, but historically we know there is no relationship structure that will prevent your partner from finding love in another. Even monogamy doesn’t work that way. Cheaters gonna cheat and there is not a promise to be made which will stop that from happening. In the same sense, lovers are going to love each other even if you ask your partner not to XYZ with partner B. But you know, go ahead and close up your relationship even though you preach the poly gospel. Go back into the closet with them. Make sure you bring all of your newfound clarity about relationships! I wish you the best of luck trying to retrofit monogamy back onto your relationship style, even though it was ill fitting prior to all of that growth.